The Best of The WWF Volume II (Coliseum Home Video)
Picking up where I left off in 2016, it’s finally time for the second in the Best of the WWF series. This is a heavy nostalgia area for me. This whole series was available at the video rental store in my home city (Max Videos), and I’d always get them. It was the only way to see wrestling outside WWF TV for me as a child.
It’s pretty wild to put Mr. Fuji on the cover in 1985, but here we go!
We start with the classic Coliseum Home Video intro video with the scrolling words leading to WWF clips mixed with ancient Roman pictures and great music. My second favourite WWF open, next to the symbol appearing over clouds with Gene Okerlund saying, “The WWF. It’s what the world is watching!”
Gorilla Monsoon is the host this time, so it’s a big step up from Vince. He really sells it as great historical footage and great matches from today put together just for me. For me? How nice of them.
Rocky Johnson & Tony Atlas (c) vs Adrian Adonis & Dick Murdoch
“WWF Tag Team Championship”
WWF Championship Wrestling
April 17, 1984, aired May 26, 1984
Commentary By: Vince McMahon & Gene Okerlund
It’s a fun little match where Atlas and Johnson dominate, but some confusion leads to Adonis rolling Johnson from behind to win the belts. I really liked Altas doing a gorilla press on the floor to Murdoch, with Johnson punching him from inside the ring, leading to that finish.
Atlas and Johnson were so over and cool. They really should have been a big team going into the mid-80s.
Rating: Solid/10
Pedro Morales (c) vs Don Muraco
“WWF Intercontinental Championship”
WWF on MSG Network
January 22, 1983
Commentary By: Gorilla Monsoon & Vince McMahon
Muraco attacks before the bell, and Morales fights right back. The really cool being thrown into the corner and turning it into a sunset flip by Morales is awesome. The early goings are just Morales destroying Muraco and Muraco selling his ass off. He’s such a chicken shit that when Morales looks to jump off the top to the floor on him, Muraco hides under the ring. A massive low blow by Muraco brings things even, and that’s when Muraco can finally remove his shirt. Of course, Muraco uses it to choke Pedro, only for Pedro to low-blow him back!
Muraco ducked, and Morales hit the turnbuckle with his knee, which finally evens the tides and led to some good knee work by Muraco. After a pushoff of the figure-four, Morales has a comeback and does a backbreaker onto his hurt knee like an idiot. The Boston Crab he does is too close to the ropes, and his leg is too hurt to keep it on. Muraco still can’t control it, though. Morales keeps fighting, but the cross body by Muraco is caught, only for Morales’s leg to give up, and Muraco wins the belt.
It is a great, short, and intense brawl with amazing transitions that tell a wonderful story. I love these two against each other.
Rating: 8.25/10
Killer Kowalski vs Pedro Morales
WWWF at Madison Square Garden
July 22, 1974
Commentary By: Jesse Ventura
Into the vault. I love Gorilla giving background over the first few minutes of the match before they go to the actual commentary. He goes on about Killer’s Claw and how dangerous it is.
This is clipped a lot, but we get a lot of Kowalski working over Morales’s leg, and it looks good, as does Morales selling. Morales is so over, and his punching comeback is fucking awesome, with Kowalski falling all over the place for it. Kowalski’s reaction to getting bit by just running around and stomping in annoyance is awesome and hilarious. Eventually, they fight on the floor for a double countout.
Rating: Fun/10
We get a graphic that says:
Midget Madness
- Little Brutus & Sky Low Low vs Billy the Kid & The Jamaica Kid
Heavily clipped, and outside of the comedy moments, they did a lot of good stuff here from what we could see. If they didn’t force the comedy on these guys, they would have been stars. Weirdly, they cut away mid-match, and we are just in another match.
- Little Brutus & Sky Low Low vs Joey Russel & Sonny Boy Hayes
We got a few minutes of a nineteen-minute match, so there’s not much to say except it looked awesome. We literally got the end of a fall and a minute of the next.
Chief Jay Strongbow vs Prof. Toru Tanaka
WWWF on MSG Network
December 19, 1977
Commentary By: Lord Alfred Hayes
The ring looks tiny! Gorilla builds up Tanaka and then tells us to look out for Chief’s War Dance and how boring the match will be because it’s old.
We are joined in progress and clipped. Gorilla was right; it was boring, but the crowd loved Strongbow! A DQ ends it.
Rating: Whatever/10
A WWF Musical Interlude
Captain Lou Albano plays the piano for under 30 seconds. That is followed by Gene Okerlund playing piano and singing “Tutti Frutti” on TNT, with Hogan playing bass with the band and the band all wearing stupid, trucking WWF hats.
Tito Santana (c) vs Paul Orndorff
“WWF Intercontinental Championship”
WWF at Kiel Auditorium
September 1, 1984
Commentary By: Vince McMahon
It feels like they wanted to show the St. Louis crowd a more NWA-style match, as WWF just took over the territory. The structure was not typical for a WWF match from the time, and it had lots of cool nearfalls, a non-WWF structure, and a lot of action. Tito is one of the best babyface workers ever, and seeing him work from underneath is great. His hope spots are tremendous. The comeback was intense by Tito, as usual. They fought back and forth down the stretch, leading to a time-limit draw.
Rating: 7/10
Some Surprise Endings!!!
That appears on the screen, and we get a few clips of surprise match endings.
- Don Muraco vs Rocky Johnson
Rocky is beating up a bloodied Muraco until Muraco pulls the referee in front of him, causing Rocky to punch the referee out! Rocky gets disqualified.
- Bobo Brazil vs Freddie Blassie
Blassie’s leg gets trapped on the rope while trying to get into the ring and gets counted out.
- Andre the Giant vs The Black Demon
Andre accidentally unmasks Demon, to which Demon runs away, covering his face after the match.
Rick Martel & Tony Garea (c) vs The Moondogs
“WWF Tag Team Championship Texas Death Match with Gorilla Monsoon as Referee”
WWF on PRISM Network
February 14, 1981
Commentary By: Lord Alfred Hayes
Gorilla takes no fucking shit and stops The Moondogs from cheating. We only got about the last two minutes of this match, but it was a fun finish.
Rick Martel & Tony Garea (c) vs Mr. Fuji & Mr. Saito
“WWF Tag Team Championship”
WWF Championship Wrestling
October 13, 1981, aired October 31, 1981
Commentary By: Vince McMahon & Pat Patterson
We open with a long shine by the Garea and Martel team as they pick apart both Fuji and Saito before eventually Saito just overpowers Garea, and we get a face-in-peril segment. It’s pretty well down with Fuji and Saito constantly tagging and wearing him down. There are some decent nearfalls, too. It’s really a classic WWF tag structure, which leads to a hot tag by Martel, who is really one of the best at those. The finish rules as Garea is being removed from the ring, and Martel goes to the top for a cross-body win. However, Fuji tosses some salt into his eyes, Saito rolls him up, and the referee turns around to count the pin for the new Tag Team Champions!
Rating: Fun/10
Some post-credit scenes hype up future Coliseum Home Video tapes.
Final Thoughts
This tape had two matches for my spreadsheet, which is pretty damn good. The bad stuff was mostly clipped, and there was some cool old footage here. You really can’t complain about this tape.
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High Flyers (Coliseum Home Video)
One of the first things I did when I started this blog years ago was review Coliseum Home Videos because that was what I grew up on. The blog has morphed and changed over the years, but those videos are still pure nostalgia for me. I’ve always wanted to revisit them. Since I’m in some kind of watching slump, I decided now was the time!
This particular tape is the only one I owned as a child. On a trip, we came across a store with them on sale. I had no idea you could buy them. I thought they were only rentals. This tape had Savage, The Blue Blazer, and Jumping Bomb Angels, probably the reason I picked it out.
What does it look like with Steven’s 2023 eyes? Let’s find out!
This is from the Collector’s Series and starts with Gene Okerlund telling us what is on it.
Randy Savage (c) w/ Miss Elizabeth vs Virgil w/ Ted DiBiase
“WWF World Championship”
WWF Superstars
May 10, 1988, aired May 21, 1988
Virgil attacks before the bell, and when Savage makes a comeback, DiBiase distracts. This match is really about Savage selling and DiBiase being a dick. Savage eventually makes the comeback for real for the win.
Rating: Fun/10
The Rockers vs Los Conquistadores
WWF on July 9, 1988, at Boston Garden
Sean Mooney, Superstar Billy Graham, and Lord Alfred are a mix of commentators I love. They have such fun energy and distinct personalities.
This is a typical house show tag match but with a lot of energy from both teams. The shine segment is a little long by The Rockers, but that’s every Rockers match. Marty was a great face in peril here, and I love Los Conquistadores control segment. The comeback was nicely teased, and the hot tag was great. Rockers win using high flying!
Rating: Borderline Recommendation/10
The Jumping Bomb Angels (c) vs The Glamour Girls
“WWF World Women’s Tag Team Championship”
March 12, 1988 at The Spectrum
The blatant racism of Sean Mooney asking how to tell the Bomb Angels apart is something else.
This is such a great mix of Southern tag wrestling and Joshi wrestling. You have the structure from the USA but the constant fighting back and hope spots from Joshi. Glamour Girls are vicious and awesome, and Bomb Angels live up to the name of the tape, bringing pure excitement. The pinfall in chaos is great and leads to further matches as the Champions retain. One of my favourite WWF feuds of the 1980s.
Rating: 7/10
The Young Stallions vs The Shadows
May 9, 1987 at The Spectrum
When Demolition started in early 1987, Smash was played by one of the Moondogs. However, everybody knew it was a Moondog and chanted that at him. That would ruin Demolition, so The Moondog was promised another badass team gimmick, and Barry Darsow became the new Smash. Demolition went on to rule, and The Moondog tagged as The Shadows for a few months, wearing a full body suit and a mask jobbing around the country. Life is not always fair.
This was a solid WWF tag match, with everyone playing their roles well, but none exceptional. Shadows kept jobbing, and The Young Stallions got a small push.
Rating: Solid/10
The Blue Blazer & Koko B. Ware vs Danny Davis & Jose Estrada
WWF Prime Time Wrestling
January 4, 1989, aired January 23, 1989
We get the future High Energy three years in advance!
This was odd as it had two face-in-peril segments and a long finishing sequence. Owen was the most high flyer on this tape, but he doesn’t do much in this match outside of a big splash for the finish and a few small things during the match. The heels were boring in their control segments. Lord Alfred’s commentary was the true highlight.
Rating: whatever/10
Final Thoughts?
Overall, this is a pretty fun tape. One match for my spreadsheet and another that could go on. Outside of that, nostalgia raged through me, bringing good vibes, so it’s a win.
You can discuss this on Twitter!
Discord
We also have a lovely discord community to discuss the greatest wrestler ever project and anything else under the sun. It’s an open and welcoming group, and I am very proud of it. Everyone is welcome:
Join:
We also do weekly watch-along parties with chat!
How Can You Help?
Callen-Lorde is the global leader in LGBTQ healthcare. Since the days of Stonewall, we have been transforming lives in LGBTQ communities through excellent comprehensive care, provided free of judgment and regardless of ability to pay. In addition, we are continuously pioneering research, advocacy, and education to drive positive change around the world because we believe healthcare is a human right.
Please donate to Callen Lorde!
The Best of The WWF Volume 1
We are finally ready for the third and final of the first day release Coliseum Home Video tapes. Vince is the host again and he informs us that this tape chronicles the history of the WWF.
Hulk Hogan & Andre the Giant
vs
Big John Studd, Adrian Adonis, & Dick Murdoch
(7/15/1984, Meadowlands)
Announcers: Gorilla Monsoon & Red Bastien
This is a pretty standard southern tag match, but with double the face in peril segments. Yes, Andre plays face in peril here for a bit.
The highlight was Andre putting all three guys in the corner and then squashing them with the help of Hogan. For some reason Andre ran Studd off later in the match, making it two on two. A fun big butt splash by Andre for the win.
Overall a pretty standard tag match here, but with lots of heat and charisma. Seeing Murdoch and Adonis bump for Hogan and Andre was fun enough.
Rating: **
Fabulous Moolah w/ Lou Albano vs Wendi Richter w/ Cyndi Lauper
(7/23/1984, Madison Square Gardens)
Pre-match has Okerlund interview Captain Lou Albano and Moolah. Moolah is pretty low key and Albano does not think she can be beaten. She has been champion for 27 years!
Announcers: Gorilla Monsoon & Gene Okerlund
I won’t be able to rate this one, as there are a lot of video cuts. Cyndi Lauper is by far the highlight of this whole thing. She’s so great cheering on Richter and getting in Moolah and Albano’s faces.
The finish has Moolah go for the back suplex, but Richter gets her shoulder up at two to get the win and the title.
Post match Moolah nails the referee with a really stiff dropkick.
Gorilla Monsoon vs Baron Mikel Sculina
Announcer: Vince McMahon
Muhammad Ali is in the front row. After all the hype on Titans of Wrestling, I am very excited to see Sculina.
The match is nothing and this is all about the angle. Although Baron has a nice flurry to start, before Gorilla took him apart with chops.
The poor Baron just walks away as Ali takes off his jacket, shirt, and shoes to go after Gorilla.
The two circle, before Gorilla grabs him in an airplane spin and gets him all dizzy. Ali’s seconds lead him away. Such a weird angle. I guess this helps establish that Antonio Inoki can defeat Ali in a fight, but Ali looked like such a punk.
After the match Gorilla gives a great interview, using his classic “this guy doesn’t know a wrist lock from a wrist watch” commentary line. Gorilla finishes with “Great boxer, terrible wrestler.”
Jimmy Snuka vs Bobby Bass
(10/29/1984, Hamilton, Ontario)
“No Class” Bobby Bass sneak attacks, but gets quickly squashed by Snuka and the Super Fly Splash.
Piper’s Pit with Jimmy Snuka
This is the classic segment where Piper hits Snuka with coconuts and runs away before Snuka can kill him. If you haven’t seen this angle, watch it now.
Jimmy Snuka vs Roddy Piper
(8/25/1984, Madison Square Gardens)
Announcers: Gorilla Monsoon & Lord Alfred Hayes
This was a super heated revenge match for Snuka. Piper got almost nothing in, as Snuka beat the crap out of him. Snuka even took Piper to the floor, ran him into the post and a chair to bust him open. The reaction from the crowd of Snuka realizing Piper was bleeding was amazing.
The finish saw Snuka go for the splash, but Piper gets up. As Snuka flies, Piper knocks him over the top for a count out win. This perfectly sets up rematches.
rating: *** 1/4
Cobra vs Black Tiger
(12/28/1984, Madison Square Gardens)
Announcers: Gorilla Monsoon & Gene Okerlund
The winner here will get the vacant WWF World Junior Heavyweight Title. From what we saw this looked like a well built NJPW style juniors match. There was a lot of nice matwork which built to some hot stuff, especially for the WWF in 1984. There was even a tope. Compare this match to the early Starrcade junior matches with the likes of Denny Brown and it’s staggering.
The finish was super hot with a Tombstone by Tiger for a nearfall. The second attempt was countered into a Tombstone and followed by a flying senton for the win. It’s really a shame that the WWF didn’t continue with Cobra and try to build a division around these guys.
We now get the build to Gene Okerlund wrestling.
Day 1
It’s 5:00 AM and Okerlund is smoking a cigar. That’s really hilarious. Hogan shows up and is pissed, tells him to throw away the bacon and eggs and gives him a real breakfast. Raw eggs. Hello salmonella!
They go for a run and Okerlund stops to grab a beer and a brat. Hogan is mad again.
Day 2
Weight training at the gym montage set to the Coliseum Home Video music.
Day 3
This time Hogan comes in at 6:00 AM. No cigar, so there is progress (although he might had finished it in the last hour). They go and run stadium steps. Gene trying to go up steps with Hogan on his back is pretty funny stuff.
Day 4
We get more illusions to Rocky as they run up steps in Minneapolis. They both think they got it, so look out Mr. Fuji and George Steele. 4 days does not seem like enough training for Okerlund.
Hulk Hogan & Gene Okerlund vs George Steele & Mr. Fuji
(8/26/1984, Met Center)
Announcer: Vince McMahon
To start, Hogan rips off Gene’s shirt to leave him in just trunks and boots. Vince yells “Oh my what acion!”.
I love that the match starts with Fuji and Hogan. What a mismatch. This match is pretty edited as well. We do get one of the most annoying Hogan spots, as he high fives Okerlund and the referee counts it as a tag. Luckily Okerlund runs between Steele’s legs to make a tag. Hogan does almost all the work, but Okerlund blind tags in at the end. Hogan slams him onto of Fuji for the win.
Afterwards we get a double pose session with Okerlund and Hogan.
Bruno Sammartino vs Larry Zbyzsko
(1/22/1980, Allentown, PA)
Announcer: Vince McMahon
This is a pretty famous television match. The two are still friends and are student and teacher at this point.
The story of the match is that Larry is trying to win, but Bruno lets up every time he has the advantage. It’s really a great story and seeing Larry getting more and more angry every time is awesome.
Eventually Larry gets tossed and comes back in super pissed. He gets real aggressive and stomps the shit out of Bruno. He grabs a chair and nails him a few times leaving him bloody.
This is perfect slow build story telling.
Rating: *** 1/2
Bruno gives a promo after being weighted in before the cage match. Bruno is confident.
Bruno Sammrtino vs Larry Zbyszko
(“Cage Match” 8/9/1980, Showdown at Shea)
Announcer: Vince McMahon
This was very similar to the Snuka-Piper match as it was all revenge and very little offense for the heel. Except here Bruno beats up Larry and then walks out. Nothing much to say about this one, except it’s just a good pay off to a long feud.
Rating: ***
In Conclusion:
Really a good mix of things from the current product and the past. Nothing you have to go out of your way to see (except maybe Snuka on Piper’s Pit), but a good way to spend 90 minutes.
Next Tuesday, I will be back with a review of the “Most Unusual Matches” tape. Remember to send in your requests for the “Fan Favourites” match that I will review on Thursday.
Hulkamania (WF002)
Let’s start off with a correction from last week. I started reading the “The Complete WWF Video Gudie, Volume 1” and although “Wrestling’s Bloopers, Bleeps and Bodyslams” was the first numbered Coliseum Home Video the WWF actually released the first three Coliseum Home Videos on the same day (Last week’s Bloopers tape, this week’s Hulkamania, and next week’s Best of the WWF, Volume 1). Hulkamania makes way more sense as a debut tape, so I take back that criticism. Actually having a Hulk featured tape, a best of tape and a blooper tape is not a bad idea.
Vince McMahon is the host and welcomes us to the tape. The gimmick on this one is that Hulk Hogan gives us his thoughts on facing each opponent, during the entrances.
Hulk Hogan vs Greg Valentine
(8/4/1984, Philadelphia Spectrum)
Hulk’s Thoughts: All he was thinking was to avoid the figure-four leglock.
Announcer: Gorilla Monsoon
This was a fascinating match in terms of structure. After a nice shine sequence by Hogan, you get Valentine going after the leg in a pretty good heat segment. He even uses a chair on the outside to the knee. Hogan “Hulk’s Up” and starts to destroy Valentine, before a second heat segment occurs. During the heat segments Hogan sells the leg great, but during the first comeback he ignores it.
After all the good work on the leg, Valentine’s figure-four leglock gets shoved off. Axe Bomber. Big Leg Drop. It’s over! The finishing comeback was two moves, but very dynamic.
Although the first comeback was weirdly long and I don’t really understand what the purpose is of that part of the match, overall it was well worked. Hogan was so over, super charismatic, and such a huge seller that the crowd was nuts for this. Valentine was looking pretty good dropping elbows and working the leg.
Post match involves teasing a rematch and then includes Hogan gorilla pressing the referee, all the while selling the leg.
Rating: ***
Can Hogan bodyslam the true giant of wrestling?
Hulk Hogan vs Big John Studd
(12/10/1984, Meadowlands)
Hulk’s Thought: He didn’t think he could slam Studd, but once he got the eye of the Hulkster and the crowd was going nuts it felt like Studd weighted as much as a feather.
Announcers: Gorilla Monsoon & Howard Finkel
What a truely bizarre team in the booth. The first thing they do is make sure that the $15,000 is on the line. At this time Bobby Heenan said he would pay out that money if anybody could bodyslam Studd, the true giant of wrestling. Bobby Heenan confirms that it is always on the line.
What follows is a surprisingly great match. It’s built around Hogan gaining control, then going for the bodyslam only for Studd to block it and then take control. The big moment occurs when Hogan goes for a bodyslam near the ropes and Studd is able block it and drag Hogan to the floor. He uses the table, ring post and guardrail to bust Hogan open! This leads to the longest heat segment of the match. Studd is so in control he even hits a flying ax handle off the top! During this segment we see the first bodyslam of the match and it’s by Studd. Hogan starts to “Hulk Up”, but he gets booted to the floor. After a little of bit of the King of the Mountain spots, Hogan drags him to the floor. We get some brawling and a comeback which leads to a bodyslam on the concrete floor and a countout win for Hogan.
I really can’t believe how great this match was.
Rating: ****
Remember on the “Wrestling’s Bloopers, Bleeps, and Bodyslams” tape how they had a short cut of Hogan giving a protein shake to Vince and Lord Alfred Hayes? Well we get the full segment here. Although the powder on Alfred’s nose joke is gone. We do get Hulk making the whole protein shake, using the protein powder. He is actually doing the whole shake well, except adding full eggs is not right. Folks you should not drink raw eggs.
Hulk Hogan vs David Schultz
(6/17/1984, Met Center)
Hulk’s Thoughts: Super redneck! Hulk was worried about Shultz cheating and doing anything to win. “Good wins over evil”, he says. It’s weird they have been giving spoilers during the entrances.
Announcers: Gorilla Monsoon & Gene Okerlund
This is the debut of the WWF in Minneapolis (home of the AWA), so of course you have a big Hulk Hogan title match in his old grounds.
What Hogan was afraid of came to pass early here as Shultz is choking and once he gets him outside nails him with a steel chair and busts him wide open.
A neat touch is for Shultz to play King of the Mountain for a while, which is a traditional AWA troupe.
We go on an interesting journey from there. Shutlz hits his finisher (flying elbow off the second rope) and we get the traditional “Hulk Up”. However, Hogan pulls Schultz up at two. He does this a few more times and even takes Schultz to the floor and rams him into the steel post to bust him open.
Schultz survives to get a lariat in to gain the advantage back. He decides to try his elbow off the top, instead of the second rope, Hogan moves. Axe Bomber by Hogan for the win.
We got double juice. We got Hogan being super pissed and his arrogance almost costing him. We had an insane crowd. This was damn fine pro-wrestling.
Rating: *** 3/4
Hulk Hogan vs Big John Studd
(Cage Match, 4/6/1984, Kiel Auditorium)
Hulk’s Thoughts: This one is personal and can only be settled in a cage. “Once you see the match you’ll know that I came out on top”.
Announcer: Gorilla Monsoon
From what we saw of this match it seemed pretty decent, but there was a lot of cuts. The previous matches had stuff edited out, but this one starts with Studd in control and the first half of the contest is cut after cut.
The finish is pretty good though, as they are brawling on the mat as Studd accidenty kicks him out of the ring. They brawl some on the floor.
Exclusive interview time by Vince McMahon made for this tape. We don’t get much here, but the list of people that Hogan idolized in wrestling was: Bruno Sammartino, Johnny Valiant, The Grahams and Andre the Giant. Johnny Valiant?
The night Hulkamania was born!
Hulk Hogan vs Iron Sheik
(1/23/1984, Madison Square Gardens)
Announcers: Gorilla Monsoon & Pat Patterson
The famous title change that started Hulkamania in the WWF. The crowd is insane in this match and was so ready for Hogan to become the top star.
This match is the format on how you make a new star. It’s actually very similar to the Golberg-Hogan title match. Hogan gets in a shine, Sheik takes control. Gets some nice nearfalls with some cool suplexes. He puts on the Camel Clutch, Hogan powers out of it and then pins him with a Big Leg Drop. 5:40 is all you need to get this over. Not a great match, but a really great moment.
Rating: ** 1/2
In Conclusion:
This tape was a lot of fun with two legit awesome matches and everything else being a lot of fun. Maybe skip the interview segment.
Next Tuesday I will review “Best of the WWF, Volume 1” so be on the look out for that. Remember to send in your suggestions for matches for the “Fan Favourites” segment on Thursday. I will review anything that the fans want me to.
Wrestling’s Bloopers, Bleeps & Bodyslams (WF001)
The WWF was hot in 1985! They had been on MTV and NBC. WrestleMania and Mr. T were a thing! Which means it was time for the WWF to invade the home video market. With this being the WWF and Vince McMahon there is only one way to start and that is with a bloopers tape?
Gorilla Monsoon is the host in the WWF home video control center and he assures us that we have some hilarious surprises ahead of us. To prove that, they insert Gorilla screwing up filming the opening into this without any warning.
The first clip we get is of a ten-man tag match from the Philadelphia Spectrum. I would give you a date and all, but it’s so quick we don’t even get to see all the competitors. What we get is “The Magnificent One” Don Muraco running into Andre the Giant’s ass and then it’s replayed.
Freddie Blassie is now on Tuesday Night Titans giving love advice. We are on a corny site and Vince McMahon is reading letters from TNT fans. First question comes from a wife who’s husband ignores her after watching TNT. Blassie’s advice? She should take a bath. Next we have a wife show says her husband practices moves on her after watching the WWF, including the Super Fly splash. It hurts her and she wants it to stop. Blassie says a man should beat his wife, like he did to his rotten second wife. Finally a sixty year old women wants to date a wrestler. Blassie suggests Sgt. Slaughter, Tito Santana, Hulk Hogan and the Tonga Kid. Vince is not impressed.
Gorilla says we are about to learn a lesson about vanity.
“Iron” Mike Sharpe vs Steve Grey
Joined in progress and Grey’s toupee falls off.
Tiger Chung Lee tries to break bricks. Gorilla claims he was in charge of buying the bricks on this night and bought ones with steel running through the middle. Tiger can’t break them, but keeps trying. Vince is laughing his ass off.
Captain Lou Albano is on TNT. He rambles and doesn’t make sense.
We are back on TNT and Vince McMahon brings out Tony Atlas for a pose down. We hear the Coliseum Home Video music as Atlas poses in speedoes with the camera man zooming in a lot. “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff is here as competition. Same music, same zooming in, but smaller speedoes. The five people in the audience decide Tony Atlas is the winner. Orndorff is not happy and jumps Atlas. A man in jeans, jacket and a mask breaks it up. What was the blooper, bleep or bodyslam in that segment?
Gorilla is back in studio to tell us the life of a wrestler is lonely. He informs us that dog’s make great friends. However Iron Sheik’s friend is a camel. Which sends us to Vince with the Iron Sheik and a camel. Vince needs an expert here, so he brings out Lord Alfred Hayes. Sheik makes fun of Sgt. Slaughter and says the camel is his own training partner. Alfred makes stinky faces and we find out the name of the camel is super long in Arabic and is Claud in English.
It’s time for Kamala and the performing chicken on TNT. Friday and Blassie bring out the “Famous Performing Chicken”, which is just a chicken in a giant cage. They bring out Kamala who stalks the chicken and Blassie jokes about it being dinner time. We cut to Kamala eating chicken with feathers around him.
Gorilla says we are about to see one of the funniest midget matches of all-time.
Danny Carpenter vs The Haiti Kid
Joined in progress and Haiti bites the ass of Carpenter to get out of a hold. We get some silly referee midget spots.
Back on TNT Ivan Putski is teaching people the polka. Well that is what Gorilla said, but all we get is a bunch of dancing. Vince is more into this dance then he was into Shawn Michaels. This might had been the highlight of Vince’s life.
Hulk Hogan making protein shakes on TNT.
Hulk Hogan is on TNT and we are joined in progress as he is pulling out the python pack (a custom 12 pack of vitamins) and gets Vince to drink the protein shake he made to swallow the vitamins. He likes it and they coax Awful Alfred to drink it. He throws up.
It’s now Captain Lou’s turn to give love advice. First up a wife says her husband refuses to use modern hygiene techniques like deodorant. He stinks. What can she do? Lou’s advice is to put some olive oil, witch hazel, sweetening lotion and rubbing alcohol and rub it on him. Second up, a women asks about her obese husband and if the “Fat Person Guide to Ectasy” is a good source. Lou hates fat people. Vince doesn’t understand and asks him how he sees himself. Lou is all muscle and that “Fat Person Guide to Ectasy” is about a low carb diet. Lou says the husband should look in the mirror and tell himself he is great. Finally a wife asks what to do about her husband who never takes off his boots. Lou says she needs to get him some deodorant, because that would start to smell Then completely rambles until the segment ends.
Julia Child move over, the Wild Samoans are here to cook. We are joined by Lord Alfred holding his nose, he thinks it’s the plague. It’s actually fish stew! Obviously they do some raw fish stuff and an actual fish stew. Alfred gets the head and gross bits and refuses to eat it and says he would rather get cat rabies.
Gorilla says we are now ready for the greatest blooper of all-time.
The Wild Samoans vs Tony Atlas & Rocky Johnson
Joined in progress as Atlas comes in on the hot tag. Referee bump and Albano grabs a chair. Atlas ducks as a Samoan gets nailed and pinned losing the Tag Team Titles.
Albano is now shown on TNT trying to explain the greatest blooper ever. He denies responsibility, since they were three-time champs they should had survived that technical mistake. Called the Samoans crybabies.
Gorilla back in studio raving about the wrestling credentials of Salvatore Bellomo. Bellomo is a credit to wrestling. Bellomo is on TNT making pizza. A real pizza man does not use a rolling pin. Alfred has some flour on his nose, which Vince points out that it’s not the first time he’s seen powder on Alfred’s nose. It lasts a minute before we get Italians in traditional Italian garb playing Italian music. Wow.
A quick clip of Dick Murdoch teaching Adrian Adonis how to get on a horse (which he sucks at) is followed by Adonis & Murdoch along with Mean Gene Okerlund on the mean streets of New York City. Adonis and Okerlund talk to some bums. Adonis claims a fire hydrant is a shower. A cute dog appears and Adonis pets it. Watching this I wasn’t sure what the point of this was, but my guess is that it is to show that Adonis is a fake New Yorker (since nobody knows him) and that New York is an awful place. A weird choice for a company based in New York. The whole thing ends with them getting some disgusting street hot dogs and Okerlund refusing to pay. Gorilla says that is why he’s called Mean Gene.
We get a bunch of short clips of slams and splashes, since Gorilla feels we haven’t had enough of them.
“Lucious” Johnny Valiant now gets a turn giving love advice. We finally get a male question where a husband claims he puts a mask on his wife to improve her looks. All of these questions are so awful and really portray some horrible marriages. We get a question from an unmarried women, who is hot, but likes ugly men. Who can she date? Valiant raves and raves about Brutus Beefcake being so hot. He’s a 15 to 20 to 25 out of 10. He lists Tito Santana, Junkyard Dog, Sgt. Slaughter as stone ugly. Last question is a women who wants to be in a battle royal. Vince thinks this is some weird fantasy orgy question, while Valiant doesn’t understand the question at all and talks about how battle royals are difficult to win.
We are told Andre the Giant sings the fish song, something advertised on the VHS box. Before that Andre compares Big John Studd to Sky Low Low. He shows off the size of his hand over Alfred’s face and we cut to Andre with the band. Sadly no singing, he just makes the fish face. This is pretty funny though.
Cyndi Lauper on Piper’s Pit!
Moving on to Piper’s Pit where Cyndi Lauper is the guest. Lou Albano appears and cuts a great promo. He wants Cyndi to tell everybody that women belong in the kitchen and that he wrote all her songs, etc.. Lauper gets annoyed and beats up Albano and Piper, before she is pulled away.
Some more clips of slams.
We are now ready for the main event of the tape, it is Butcher Vachon’s wedding on TNT. First we start with the gifts. Albano gives them a lifetime supply of rubber bands. Blassie gives them some reading glasses, so that he could see how ugly the wedding ring is and how ugly the bride is.
We move onto the toasts and first up is George “The Animal” Steele who eats a champagne glass and makes some odd sound before he mutters out a short congrats. Albano toasts “Open your teeth, open your gums, watch out stomach here it comes!” Jesse Ventura says “the scum always rises to the top of the water”. Sky Low Low is not ready and then says “what the hell do you want a toaster?”. “Dr. D” David Shultz doesn’t want to toast nobody, so he toasts himself only. Albano is wasted and burps into the mic many times. He is now singing and starts stripping. The bride is dancing with Sky Low Low and Albano is dancing with a female little person which Blassie finds hilarious. Moving on and Albano and the Samoans are joined by Sky Low Low to sing.
Time for cake. The bride doesn’t like cake, so Dr. D throws it in her face and the Butcher does as well to his own bride. Somehow Albano finds a whipped pie and throws it at Sky Low Low. Now everybody has whipped pies and it’s a giant pie fight. Alfred even gets pie on his head. So does Vince. I don’t know why whipped pies are at a wedding, but there you go. We get champagne spraying and even more pies. Butcher breaks a beer bottle on the floor and starts throwing chairs and knocking over tables. It’s a giant food fight. Sika seems to enjoy this more than anyone. During this entire chaotic scene the band keeps playing. In a good attention to detail Dr. D is spraying Pepsi instead of champagne.
We get a a short highlight reel of segments that didn’t make the show and then some more slams to end this tape.
In Conclusion
What a strange tape to put out as the first WWF home video. On one hand there was some classic TNT moments and on the other there is nothing on here you would want to have in your permanent home library or re-watch more than once.
I was really looking forward to this project of watching the Coliseum Home Videos, but this tape was not a great start. However, I’m really looking forward to “Hulkamania” to go up next week!
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